AUBURN, Ala.-- In court documents filed the week of Dec. 13, 2013, Harvey Updyke and his legal staff requested that his $500 a month restitution payments be lowered to $50.
At that rate, it would take Updyke 1,300 years to pay the$800,000 he owes for poisoning Toomer's Corner in 2010. Even at $500 a month, it would still take 123 years to pay the debt.
On Thursday, Lee County DA filed a motion to oppose that request, a day before the deadline to do so.
According to court documents, Updyke has an income of $3,030 and expenses of $2,793. Scrawled in handwriting, the motion says that he and his wife are on 23 medications that contributes to their expenses.
The DA argued that insufficient evidence of hardship was given, including a lack of testimony to his indigence.
The $800,000 Updyke owes is set to go to the costs incurred to remove the poisoned trees, treat the damaged soil and for the labor of the Auburn grounds department.
Another portion of the restitution would go to the design of the new wire structure as well as court costs and legal fees.
Strong move by Harvey Almorn Updyke right there, but $800,000 restitution might as well have been eighty gajillion. We're talking made up numbers here. Actually paying it off is an utter impossibility, especially when the dude's only income goes to his 23 prescriptions and mustache wax. Harvey's been good and fucked by the long dick of Lee County law enforcement; isn't it about time they give the dude a break? I know he's an absolute nutcase and was probably only 90 seconds away from scalping Chief Osceola, but the dude has pretty much paid his debt to society for killing a few trees.
Or perhaps not...
Also, by looking at the court documents there is zero doubt in my mind that Harvey holds the pen in the palm of his hand and writes closed-fisted. There's really no other explanation.
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